Useless Ramblings

You know somethings up when Shammy hasn't posted. You just know. Like when you throw a rock at glass and it doesn't break, and it catches the rock, and then it thrusts the rock in your direction before just letting it fall to the ground and it suddenly has a mouth with which to speak all "Black guy"ish, and then it's all like, "Nigga I'ma woop yo ass.". Seriously. You just know something wrong.

I check the forum almost err'y day Will... we need liz to post

Yeah, I've been there. Not enough bad assed mother fuckers there to be worthy of the name... But I guess Banff stands for something else. Maybe Bad Assed... Ah fuckit. Something. Anyway, lot's of lake and mountains. Also a nice hot spring I visited. I learned how to canoe there too. T'was fun.

1
A Well-Planned Retirement

Outside England’s Bristol Zoo, there is a parking lot for 150 cars and 8 buses. For 25 years, its parking fees were managed by a very pleasant attendant : the fees for cars ($1.40), for buses (about $7).

Then, one day, after 25 solid years of never missing a day of work, he just didn't show up; so the zoo management called the city council and asked it to send them another parking agent.

The council did some research and replied that the parking lot was the zoo's own responsibility. The zoo advised the council that the attendant was a city employee. The city council responded that the lot attendant had never been on the city payroll.

Meanwhile, sitting in his villa somewhere on the coast of Spain, or France, or Italy, is a man who'd apparently had a ticket booth installed completely on his own and then had simply begun to show up every day, commencing to collect and keep the parking fees, estimated at about $560 per day, for 25 years...

Assuming 7 days a week, this amounts to just over $7 million dollars... and no one even knows his name.







2
Irish Fire Insurance

A man and his wife moved back home to Cork , from London .

The wife had a wooden leg and to insure it in Britain was £2000.00 a year!

When they arrived in Cork , they went to an Insurance agency to see how much it would cost to insure the wooden leg.

The agent looked it up on the computer and said to the couple,' €39.00.'

The husband was shocked and asked why it was so cheap here in Ireland to insure, because it cost him £2000.00 in England !

The agent turned his computer screen to the couple and said,

'Well, here it is on the screen, it says:

*Any wooden structure, with a sprinkler system over it, is €39.00.*


I always did find the Irish Logic far superior to most others.

Never had that moment..... no one important is named Dustin.... not sure if thats a or a

(never needed to talk about Dustin Hoffman, Dustin Sacks, Dustin Diaz, or Dustin Diamond.)

(also i Figured out that the origin of my name is Norse meaning "Thor's Stone")


^^^^^^^^^^^
Thats Apparently Me!

Things I learned today.
The Tissue is better than the Dark side of the Force.

Today I wrote a short story,

On a Hot Summers Day,
An Exert from: Jasper and the Swimmies
(meant to be read in a Morgan Freeman voice)

Underneath the sheer, blinding rays of the Sun stood a man. This man was

referred to only as, Jasper. Standing there, ankles deep in the chilling waters of the

Pacific, Jasper took in a whiff of the strong, almost nauseating smell of the salty sea

air. Behind him, there was a horde of small obnoxious, middle school students

fishing sand crabs out of the sand and imprisoning them in their pails. Jasper had

almost had the nerve to confront them and question them of their cruelty of these

poor, tiny creatures that were just, living peacefully under the wake of the gentile

waves. “No,” he decided. “It isn’t worth the trouble of trying to reason with an

assemblage of prepubescent children, for they would never understand the simple

lives of the tiny creatures they have captured.” Another person approached Jasper,

presumably a friend who was a few years younger than him and said, “The waves

today seem quite admirable,” The boy said. “They do, however it is a bit of a shame

seeing how we have forgotten our surf boards in the shed.” He said in response.

Jasper shifted his position in the sand that had slowly begun creeping over his feet.

“Yeah,” the boy agreed. “Though the stench of the waves mixed with the uproar

created by the population that inhabited the beach bring back such fond memories

from when we were young.” Jasper nodded in agreement. “Speaking of age, Jasper,

isn’t today your twenty-third birthday?” the boy asked. “It is, thank you for

remembering.” Jasper responded. As his friend entered the water, Jasper had halted

him. Jasper had thought of descending deeper into the greenish-blue of the Pacific

with his friend but then sighed and asked. “Cody, have you any idea where my

swimmies have gone off to?” Jasper asked to his friend. Jasper had just turned

twenty-three yet he had never fully learned how to swim, especially not in the

vast Pacific ocean. Though when he put those swimmies on, it was as if he were the

Big Kahuna himself. “No I haven’t,” responded Cody. “Why don’t I just teach you

then.” Jasper had agreed to his friends request ad lunged into the waters. At first, he

felt the cool waters, rushing through is short hair. When he started to run out of air

he gasped and choked under water as he scrambled to the surface of the water. The

salty seawater had infiltrated his mouth and burned his throat. None other than

Jasper’s acquaintance Cody had raised him carefully out of the depths. Cody had

taught Jasper how to swim partially, and now he had decided to finish the job. After

roughly two hours, Jasper was able to swim with ease. The two companions had

emerged triumphantly from the now, moonlit waters. As Jasper walked passed his

footprints from where he had been standing earlier, he noticed his swimmies lying

on the ground there. Two loud bangs had smashed the loud silence of the night. His

swimmies were gone, and Jasper, a proud man.

Ok, so apparently at like 4:45 this morning my 3ds street passed Miyamoto... This confuses me because that would require me to have been close enough to him for a long enough period of time for our 3ds's to swap information... I was sleeping on the third floor of a condo... So I guess I win?

Its beautiful.

So this little black kid gets on my bus as I'm going to campus, points at these ladies across from me and shouts: "These are my girlfriends!"
As he moves to sit behind me they promptly switch seats to get away from the little guy. So there he sits bouncing and yelling in the seat right behind me, and to make matters worse, every time a female boards the bus he loudly proclaims he has another girlfriend... He got up to at least 7 before he left with his mom...

Yee dawg